The Light Within Us

“There is a gravity within that continually weighs on us and pulls us away from the light. Negativity is an addiction to the bleak shadow that lingers around every human form…

You can transfigure negativity by turning it toward the light of your soul.”

– from John O’Donohue, Anam Cara, p.200.

We are often drawn to the darkness within us. The darkness in our lives. Negativity can easily become a life force of its own, feeding off of us. However, the more attention we pay to it, the more we believe in its power, the more it grows and roots itself deeper into our soil.

We must learn to continuously focus on the light, not the shadows. Once we learn to do this, it will be as though the light is shimmering and growing right before us, offering us so much more than the darkness ever could.

The darkness is safe; it shades us from the harsh rays of hope and responsibility, for within the world of negativity and shadow, we can remain closed. We can remain safe.

It is not enough to be safe. It is not enough to survive. There is too much within us, waiting to happen. We have too many dreams, too much soul, too much light to share. We are serving nothing by hiding our selves, by setting ourselves aside, or by allowing something or someone else to control or define us.

It is not enough to be safe. We must be reckless. Every now and then, we must throw ourselves into the wind and take the chance to fly. We are strong, much stronger than we know. We can survive the falls; what we can not survive is the darkness. It steals our light, our energy, and manipulates us into believing we are not brave enough, beautiful enough, strong enough, smart enough, something enough! to fly. When, in fact, we have everything we need to make our wildest dreams come true, right there, inside us.

Our soul is patiently waiting for us to have the strength to be reckless.

To clarify, reckless does not mean you need to jump off buildings and have a ridiculous amount of unprotected sex. True recklessness is allowing the wild, roguish parts of our soul to have their way for a while. To find another job, to write that book, hug that person, and not give a damn what anyone is saying about you. To do it, anyways.

It doesn’t have to be forever. We don’t have to be strong every minute of the day. But we do need to be alive. We do need to take responsibility for our lives. It is not enough to blame the darkness. We all have darkness, and it can almost be assured that our darkness is only a fog, permeating our vision but penetrating nothing. Break through it, and we can see.

Break through it, and we are free.

The Fertile Fields of Our Soul

I’m working today (horror of all horrors) but thought that I would post a new entry while I was here, slaving away at my mother’s desk while the students complete pages of paperwork. Muahahahaha. I love substituting for my mom, since I know exactly what she expects, and she always leaves the students plenty to do (the less I have to hear them speak, the less I have to be discouraged by the current state of our students and society in general).

I spoke of change in my last few blogs, and how I’ve been patiently waiting for Synchronicity. Of course, it’s too early to determine anything, but I feel it finally happening. The wind is shifting, and the light is bursting through the cracks of the doors in my life. I’m blinded by the occasional glimpse of Beauty awaiting me. I’m hopeful, and I’m smiling in the inside… all the time. I can’t sleep at night, because I’m bombarded with Hope and anticipation. When I do sleep, my dreams reflect my hopes, and I wake with the blurriness of pseudo-reality becoming Real.

I’m happy to be alive again.

My last post was a poem – “Meanwhile, You and I.” I still haven’t recovered from this piece; it was formed straight from the fibers of my soul, and I am honored that I was allowed to create art with my words. It had been a while since I had written something new, and I was glad to have the dam finally burst again, upon the page. I never cease to garner great happiness from writing… nothing in the world makes me feel more alive, or to believe I have any truer purpose.

One of my dear friends has been hurting lately, overwhelmed by this life and the realities it offers us. Financial and emotional entanglements are strangling her, holding her back from her purpose. She is beautiful, and filled with such promise and light. I want her to break through the walls that hold her back, and press herself upon the world in a powerful way. She has the power to redefine her reality, and I think she is becoming aware of this. I want to be by her side as she comes alive. I am so proud of all that she is, and I hurt when she hurts.

If only I could ease everyone’s pain, just a little. Perhaps then we could all breathe for a moment, and with that breath offer the world a bit of Peace.

Someone new has come into my life and validated my soul. I wanted to share this, for it has added new wonderment and joy to my life. I feel as though my soul is reflected in another, and this offers me hope for the future, and the knowledge that I am not alone.

When we find this reflection in another, it is a glimpse into the earthen depths of our lives, into the grace that is God, and the gift that is our souls.

I am quite obviously slipping into my “purple prose” for this entry, something I have been critiqued for by every English teacher I have ever had (save one or two). I can only hope that I am slowly stripping myself of cliche, and other such saccharine sweetness, and rather delving in the deliciousness of the soil – the vibrating richness of the world.

For we all need a little poetry in our lives. 

We all need a little randomn love and beauty.