moderation misuse

I have the nagging suspicion that the coming month will pass with a blur.

I have done it again: lacked the patience to practice moderation, and inundated myself with life.

My days include full-time substitute English teaching (including Macbeth), 16+ hours of  sales representation at the Holyoke Mall on the weekends, finishing, editing,  and submitting my historical romance, Tupperware consulting, going to the gym, and acting in a play.

Whereas, three weeks ago I was sleeping in until noon and working one day a week… at best.

It’s called moderation, and I have apparently yet to master it.

This is good, though. Within the course of six weeks, I will have miraculously (okay, painfully) restocked my bank account, and as much as I sometimes refuse to believe it, money is good. In this case, money will allow me choices – it will allow me to step back and consider my options – perhaps move, perhaps stay, perhaps travel a bit more. Who knows. All I know is that I’m keeping my mind too busy (or too tired) to get very existential.

Of course, today as I was driving with Mom back home from work, I was sitting there wondering how people can just wake up and drive places and do things and not realize everything is completely pointless.

Other than those occasional thoughts, I’m perfectly content. 🙂

So yeah. Just a brief update. I’m feeling a bit lonely again (first time in a while). Mostly I miss the warmth of someone I care about beside me… and the ability to cuddle into them and breathe.