Listless in Limerick

I often wonder why, being such a happy person, I am so prone to depression (or at least terribly depressing thoughts). I am actually surprised when people tell me that they never wish for death, or are ever overwhelmed by the utter futility of it all. I feel this way at least a couple times a month, if not daily.

Interestingly enough, the times I feel the most overwhelmed are usually the times that I also feel the most potential. I suppose it’s the dichotomy between what I know the world and people could be, and what the world and people actually are that devastates me.

But enough of that. Just random thoughts spilling through my fingertips.

It’s a little past midnight on Sunday night. Kara and I have one more day here in Ireland before we head home. I feel, however, as though the journey is incomplete, but I am unsure why. I think it might have something to do with the decisions I have waiting for me when I come home: the choices I have to make in order to determine the rest of my life. Yes, those choices.

I keep reminding myself that I have plenty of exciting reasons to go home, and that there are a handful of positively wonderful people in my life. I need to continue to surround myself with good people, and continue to insert myself into the world rather than allowing the world to force itself upon me. “We all have a choice” says the Guinness ad, and I will listen to it. ☺

I will miss the pubs: the dim, delicious atmosphere of old wood, good music, and a beef and Guinness Pie.  There’s nothing more relaxing than finding a good corner to relax and listen to live traditional music and drink a pint of Bulmers. We truly don’t have many places like that back home, which helps to explain why I usually don’t go out.

I suppose I’m ready to go home, though. It’s been a long time, and I’ve spent more of the past year traveling than I have in one place, so I suppose I could use a break – or at least a job, haha. But not funny. I prefer the retired life, but I might be reaching the end of that particular rope.

I think I might place an ad for a good cuddler for the winter. It’s going to be cold, and I need someone to snuggle with.

I’m not joking.