Doolin, Ireland: to find some peace

Agh! You won’t believe it. We literally missed Porry by hours! I knew I should have called him yesterday, but we didn’t. Yesterday was a rough day; we were happy to have survived it. However, I guess that means it just wasn’t meant to happen, if we missed each other so closely. Mr. Flanagan said that Porry said something about “being a butterfly” and “leaving while the moon is full” which is absolutely priceless, so I guess I’ll let him have his journeys.

This little hostel is fantastic. I really can imagine coming back here, very soon. Right now, I’m relaxing after a delicious dinner cooked by Kara, while our clothes are being sifted through the washing machine and a cute German family has dinner at the table beside me. We’re the only two groups in the hostel tonight, so it’s quiet and cozy and wonderful. The owner even lit a fire in the common room, so it’s warmer than it was here Saturday night.

Oh, Saturday night. How I miss thee.

It’s been tough for Kara and I to keep our heads in the present, since we have so much to think about and our emotions have been ambushed and scattered across the country.

At least it’s a lovely country. ☺

I’ve been having nightmares for the past few days, mostly about coming home. It makes me a little nervous, because even though I’m not actively thinking about it, my subconscious is obviously concerned. The dreams usually involve either extreme fighting with my parents, going back to high school and failing my classes, or total feelings of entrapment and despair.

Needless to say, none of them are very comforting.

I suppose I’m mostly concerned about losing myself again, in the madness that people call “life”. I’ve learned now that there is so much more to life than surviving, and I truly want to live every single day I have left. I really have no idea what to expect when I get home, and I suppose I need to start defining reality myself rather than just ‘waiting’ to see what happens.

In that case, I want to ensure that good people surround me, I laugh (heartily) at least once a day, and that I continue to live within the rhythm of the earth.

Not too much to ask, I’m sure.

Last night, Kara and I literally slept in a cabin in the woods. I had to use the toilet before bed, and there I was: walking through the darkness while it rained, armed with a mini flashlight and the fear of God, scared out of my bleeping mind. I had to walk all the way to another building a couple hundred yards away. I may not be high maintenance, but…seriously. I don’t like camping, especially when I’m not in the least prepared. Haha. Regardless, it was a cute hostel – it was called “The Peacock” along the Beara Peninsula, which was a lovely drive. And like I said, there was a guinea pig peninsula and a large sow (videos to come!) which lent a measure of ridiculousness that made it all worth living.

Couple hours later:

Had a really relaxing night. Played UNO for a while in front of the fire, and reminisced about Porry and the ridiculous times we all had here last Saturday. Couldn’t believe that a week had almost already gone by. Couldn’t believe that it’s almost been a month traveling – the two Karas conquering the UK and beyond. Tried to handle the fact that we’ll be home in the states in only a few days, and tried to handle that calmly and rationally. We just know that so many things have changed now – both within us and around us. And it’s crucial that we remember who we are, and who we want to be. For myself, I know that I would absolutely be willing to change my entire life, if that was what God wished for me. I just need to stay aware of the earth and His spirit around me, and follow the path of my soul.

Dorky, perhaps. But absolutely true.