Home: Sturbridge, Massachusetts

I can hardly believe that I’m in my own bed.

I drove over 600 miles yesterday. Arrived home at 2:45 AM. Mom waited up for me. I stumbled upstairs, took a shower, and crashed. Now I wake up, and here I am – in Sturbridge, Massachusetts, in my own bed for the first time in over three months.

I realized driving into town that I have never been away this long. I have NEVER been out of Worcester County for more than a couple weeks at a time. Lots of kids have the experience of being gone that long when they go off to college, but I commuted for six years. Just another reason why this trip was invaluable to me.

Everything has changed. I was a little scared of coming home, of driving these streets again. And it might be hard at first. But then I realized that it doesn’t need to be that way.

One thing I’ve realized because of this trip is the awesome power we have- the ability to make changes, to impress ourselves upon the world and make things happen. Yes, perhaps Fate may catch up with me every now and then, but I have the capability of making choices, changes, and inserting myself into the world around me.

That’s a powerful realization, when one thinks about the far-reaching effects such a Truth could hold.

Talked to Jessica Robinson for over TWO hours last night, while driving home. Gosh, I love that girl. I can’t wait to see her again. I got sentimental with her, as I tend to do, but I can’t help myself – I want her to understand how amazing she is, and how grateful I am for her. We don’t always get to see each other as often as I would like, but I’ve learned to accept that, because when we do, I’m so happy. I feel happy in her presence. She mentioned how she was a little afraid that this trip would change me, and although that would be okay, she didn’t want to lose me – she was afraid of the distance it might put between us. It was beautiful to know that, yes, perhaps I have changed, but the truth of the matter is that Jessica has always seen me – the real ME, and loved and accepted the real me – so if anything, this trip has only brought us closer.

I have the vague feeling the previous paragraph is filled with run-ons and is perhaps haphazardly written, but I am going to accept that. It’s 11:30 AM and I’m still exhausted, but I know I need to get up and face the day. I have a car FILLED to the brim with my trip, and I need to clean her out, process some things, and prepare for the next step in the journey of this life.

So don’t BEGIN to think that this is the end of my blog.

This is only the beginning… of the rest of my life. 🙂 As they say.

1 Comment

  1. Adam Greenfield said,

    August 2, 2008 at 11:33 pm

    Wow. Hell of a trip, hunh? I’m really glad you stuck with it for as long as you did. Early on in the trip you were tempted to turn around but you stood strong. And look where it got you- to places you’ve never been. You came, you saw, you conquered. From every post I’ve read, and I’ve read them all, you seemed to have really enjoyed yourself, sans all the driving. The beautiful pictures you took were just more proof.

    However, I do want to say I’m disappointed you didn’t make it past the Rockies. I was hoping to actually meet you in person but alas, it is not to be. Maybe on your next cross-country trip, right? Ha!

    Anyway. Again, glad you’re home safe and I hope you continue to blog about how returning home is affecting you. Just because you’re in your own bed doesn’t mean the trip is over.

    Peace (and to Panda, too!)


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