South Carolina

Well, that was a wonderful welcome to the island of Hilton Head, South Carolina. πŸ™‚

I was really nervous, but Sarah welcomed me so nicely, and I felt way more comfortable than I anticipated. I definitely feel like this trip is going to do wonders for my anxiety, and my self-assurance. I barely questioned myself at all this evening. Okay, fine, the shot and the margarita might have helped… but normally nothing ca overpower my feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, especially with people who live in ways I fail at, haha. As I mentioned before – people who have FUN, haha. At least the standardized sort of fun.

Standardized fun. Hm. I’ve been failing that test for years. πŸ˜›

On a separate, completely serious note, it’s unbelievable how much my life has changed in a week. I feel like a different person, and I feel like millions of doors have opened up to me – and for the first time in a long time I’m actually excited about walking through them. It’s quite exhilarating. Quite quite.

During my travels today, I had time in the car to think about things. I thought a lot about human relationships, and the human heart, and the whole blasted thing. And for the first time in forever, I didn’t focus on the past. Strangely enough, I didn’t really think about the future either. I just… thought about the whole thing in general. How we feel, how we hurt, how we pine, how we ache.

And I thought about my personal strengths. I understand that the occasional weakness can allow one to feel a sense of freedom and abandonment, but I am strong, and I have strong, sometimes ridiculously honorable values.

Overall, a good thing.

And I suppose we’ll just leave that at that.

Strangely enough, these blogs, and my pictures, have allowed me to connect most with the people I’ve always wished to connect most with. If that makes any sense.

I guess when you run away and the only remnants of yourself that can be found are floating around in the world wide web in typed words and megapixels, you discover who really cares. Who supports you, and who validates your beauty.

So… you know who you are. And I adore you for it. πŸ™‚

PS. stopped by South of the Border, SC (and from what I could discern it’s actually listed as a town on the map) and…

yeah, really sketched out by that place. LOL.

5 Comments

  1. Jess said,

    May 8, 2008 at 6:56 am

    I hope you took some photos at South of the Border, that place is Cheeseville USA. I wonder if they still sell the velvet Elvis’s. Did you enjoy the millions of billboards telling you you were almost there?
    I hope you bought some fireworks.

  2. Kelly said,

    May 8, 2008 at 11:00 am

    Hey girl, sounds like a great time you’re having! Think of it this way, maybe you aren’t running away from anything but into your destiny, bringing out the parts of you that have been hidden, and polishing them along the way, so you can see who you really are more clearly. A bright and shinning gem! πŸ™‚
    Kelly

  3. Mike said,

    May 10, 2008 at 11:10 am

    At last, the philosopher emerges. I suspected it would happen on the trip, sooner or later. Keep letting us into your world of brave excursions and secret gardens! I absolutely adore your writing.

  4. Corey said,

    May 14, 2008 at 8:25 pm

    I love you much! You may have left NC but I feel closer to you than I ever have. Each word, picture and random text message makes me wish you were back here. Hope you’re enjoying SC.

  5. Corey said,

    May 14, 2008 at 8:27 pm

    I love you much! You may have left NC but I feel closer to you than I ever have. Each word, picture and random text message makes me wish you were back here. Hope you’re enjoying SC.


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